ERRATIC

There is a sudden burst of tears whenever I try talking about what’s happening with me. Of course, only a few know about what demon is eating me up inside. But on the outside, I’m still the happy-funny-bubbly-shy girl, who the people used to know.

I talked to someone special, someone I thought would try me, try me up and down, left and right, to the complex of my complexity. Well, he did understand. But he didn’t agree on my decisions. He told me, I was too precious of a student to let go, and he’s not letting me off the hook that easy. He made everything sound as simple as picking flowers, and running from the rain before it pours on you.

He gave me his lessons in life that I really shouldn’t have. Lectures on love and hate that was both funny and thrilling. He did what a mentor was supposed to do.

Of course, I am thankful. He wasn’t my major professor, but he still is a good apple in my university

I’m thinking about telling him one of my deepest, darkest secrets. But I’m afraid that this one secret, would change the way I see my good professor. I told him half of the reasons why I wanted to do what I think I needed to do. He told me that he was gonna do something about it. I panicked. I don’t want anything, half as bad, happen again.

Things are getting hard. I want the fear to leave me alone. :(